Blotter 21: Go Fish

Alright! My first outside submission from somebody who isn't my mom (not that I don't absolutely love my mother's participation, hi Mom!)
Jess sends this one in, from the Pasadena Citizen in Pasadena, TX, 9/29/09:

Jewelry and goldfish were at the heart of a Pasadena domestic dispute Saturday, when a man reported his common-law wife had kidnapped his seven pet goldfish, and was holding them hostage in an argument over some jewelry she said he had taken from her.

When a police officer went to the couple’s residence in the 1100 block of Queens Road to try to negotiate the release of the unfortunate fish, the woman said she was unable to return them, as she had already fried the fish and eaten three of them.

No charges were filed in the case, according to Vance Mitchell, public information officer for Pasadena Police Department.

I'm at a loss for words here. Except to say, I totally didn't know you could eat goldfish. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to Petco to pick up dinner....